I got dumped for wearing the wrong shoes.
Not ugly shoes. But the wrong type of shoes.
Here’s what happened.
I met this guy on Match. We exchanged a few messages and he asked for my number. When he called me, the first conversation lasted nearly two hours. He called me the next night and we spoke for another two hours. Our conversations that first week went pretty much like that. And I know working adults don’t usually talk on the phone for hours, but it was the holidays and I was feeling in the “spirit.” After a week of getting to know each other, we decided to meet up. And….this is where you need to pay attention.
He wanted to meet in Downtown LA, where we could find a restaurant and bar in walking distance of each other. Since he wasn’t as familiar with the area, I chose a restaurant within a block of four bars. (Note I said: ONE BLOCK).
Since this was a first date, I made a last-minute decision to wear a higher heel. I was trying to be FAWNcy and cute. And these shoes were shoes I knew I could walk that one block in, so they seemed like a great choice.
We drove to the restaurant separately. The first half of the date was lovely. We were vibin. Good music was playing. Food made me happy. We walked out of the restaurant and dude said he didn’t want our conversation to end. Cool, let’s get a drink and keep the party rollin.
We started walking to the bars I chose for the second half of the date–one block away. He gets to the first place and gives it the screw face. Ok, there’s another place next door. He doesn’t like that one either. Third place, no dice. By now, I’m getting frustrated with Goldilocks and his “this is too cold…this is too hot” attitude. Fourth place, we go in and sit down.
At that point, this was my face:
He’s sitting there, but doesn’t say one word. Finally he says “I don’t like this vibe. I want to go.”
Boy DAMN. This is honestly where the date should’ve ended, but we know it didn’t. We step outside and he asks me if there are any other bars I like in the area. I name a few but none of them are within walking distance. He googles one of the bars I mentions and determines it’s only seven blocks down and two blocks over, we can walk.
Ordinarily this would not have bothered me in the right company, and the right shoes, but I was annoyed that he was so picky AND I was wearing one block away walking shoes, not seven blocks down and two blocks over shoes.
I looked at him, I looked down at my feet and I was like “Bruh, my feet. We ain’t walkin’.”
He started huffin and puffin, and again, the date should’ve ended there. But I told him one of us can drive so we only move one car. Since his car was closer to where we were, I asked if he would drive. More huffin and puffin.
We get into the parking lot and a homeless woman comes up to him and asks for spare change. He throws the money at her and tells her to stop begging. YUCK! I should’ve ended it RIGHT HERE.
We get to the bar, and he sits there the entire time and says probably five words to me. He drives me back to my car and I hop out and say “Good seeing you, can’t wait to have another date.” I laughed saying it, knowing full well I would never hear from him again.
We did exchange text messages later in the week because I actually wanted to know what went wrong since we had a great start.
The problem? He was mad I didn’t wear different shoes. He felt that because I made that decision, I probably couldn’t make good decisions in life. But then he said “I hope you don’t tell people I got mad because you wore the wrong shoes.”
So many things to unpack with what he said, but the thing that stuck out to me was A) a gentleman would’ve seen my shoes and would not have even suggested walking that far in the first place. He would’ve stayed at one of the four bars and focused on the conversation with the woman he was there with not whether or not the bar fit his particular set of expectations, and B) He threw money at a woman…who does that? Funny that my shoe choice showed him that I didn’t make good decisions, but the way he rudely dealt with the woman didn’t. Hmph.
After our date, I did make one fabulous decision, however. I didn’t ever see him again!
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