Here’s a conversation I recently had with one of my girls. BTW, names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
Her: “James* randomly texted me today and completely threw me off my game. Now I’m wondering how I should respond.”
Her: “I knooow, but….”
Me: “…he’s a fuckboy.”
Her: “Yeah, but I still love him…”
Me: “DELETE DELETE DELETE.”
Her: “I wish I could, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to talk to him.”
Me: “You can want to….just don’t.”
Her: “That’s very easy to say, but that’s not how emotions work, B.”
Me: “Oh, trust me I know. But don’t hit him up. As a matter of fact, when your fingers start itching to call him, text me instead. I’ll be your anti-fuckboy sponsor, you know, like AA.”
Unless you’ve had some kind of magical dating history, chances are you’ve run into your fair share of fuckboys–you know, the guys (or gals) who look good and talk a good game, but in reality ain’t shit? Yeah, I’m sure you’ve come across a few.
While nobody in their right mind sets out to willingly hook up with a fuckboy, sometimes it just can’t be avoided.
You meet someone and you just click. You talk about life, your favorite books, and your taco truck obsession. You spend hours texting and swapping funny memes, you Netflix and chill between dates (hopefully you’re going on dates), and soon…you’re feeling the hell out of him and are super psyched because he checks most of your boxes, and claims to be working on the rest.
Then, just when you’re thinking about going public and making him your #MCM, his fuckboy tendencies start to show, and you’re stuck.
Should you run as fast as you can in the other direction, or stick it out and hope he gets better? After all, he says he’s trying.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been right there–stuck between a fuckboy and an emotionally hard place–and it ain’t fun.
Attempting to figure this conundrum out on your own can 1) make you crazy as hell, 2) be frustrating AF, 3) have you listening to Bryson Tiller on repeat, and 4) settling for the fuckboy who might be a good person underneath it all, but is totally wasting your time.
Like any addiction, breaking away from a fuckboy can be HARD, firing off those good morning and WYD texts is a habit, after all.
So while your friends might be able to clearly see that ol’ boy is a fuckboy and constantly tells you to cut him loose right now, actually doing it can be quite difficult, especially if you’ve invested your time and heart.
Hence your need for an anti-fuckboy accountability partner who you can text or call when the urge to reach out to your ol’ boy gets a little too much. Why? They’ll not only talk you out of getting caught up ever further in dude’s unhealthy matrix, but your homegirl will also play Rihanna’s ‘Woo’ at obscenely high levels and remind you of all of the dope qualities you have to offer.
Picking a fuckboy accountability parter is vital to breaking unhealthy dating patterns and freeing up space for somebody who’s actually worthy of your time and attention.
Do you have one?